Tuesday, September 26, 2006

LANGUAGE OF LOVE


This is a strange world. Well, at least for babies - these adult Singaporeans must be wierd. Picture this - two Chinese parents speaking to each other in Mandarin, and mum turned to his son and blurted in broken English "Keep quiet, guai guai eat food, don't pray with your food. Drink Orleng Jooce." What the *%$#. Why can't they just use Mandarin? Can't they speak to the child in a language they are comfortable in? My guess - they want to give their child a headstart in the working language in Singapore, an edge over others in school or at least make sure they don't fall behind. I believe children are like a sponges, they learn, adapt and assimilate quickly. Put them in London and they will speak with an English accent, in US "Wassup", in Aussie Land "G'day". Put them in kindergarten, they will pick up English from their friends and teachers. Teaching them broken English is not helping them. It will saturate these sponges and spoil them. Changing is more difficult than learning something new. Example, my parents in law, they cannot speak English well, but when they turn to speak to the little one, they use whatever limited English they know "En, come, sit", "Don't naughty" - hey that's what they teach at dog obedience school. We had to tell them sternly to use Mandarin - and they give us THE LOOK - it's as if we are asking them to speak French. Duh?! If you ask me, if the common language of the house is Mandarin - use it, if it's Cantonese - use it - why devise a second language for your child? Anyway, isn't it better for him or her anyway to pick up a mother tongue from young and be proficient in it? It actually gives them an edge later in life. I come from a family who uses a mixture of Mandarin and Hainanese (I cannot speak Hainanese well, but comprehend it quite ok), my parents speak good Mandarin, picked up Cantonese when I hang out with my cousins who spoke the language among themselves, Hokkien came naturally in army, I picked up English from school and friends. I'm effectively multi-lingual ha ha. Isn't that better? I definitely don't want my child to be banana, worse a banana who speaks rotten English.

Monday, September 25, 2006

IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW!

I visited a colleague who has just given birth to a baby boy. He's so cute, name's cool too - my favourite basketball star (and shoes) - Jordan. Side-track a bit, ever notice people always start debating on who the baby looks like. As if one can tell. I always try not to make that comparison. It offends the other party, and hell, I even have trouble identifying my son when he was in the hospital's nursery. I was goo goo -gaa gaa-ing with a bundle wrapped in blue, when it suddenly struck me that that bundle wasn't my son. Anyway, he or she better look like both mum an dad if its the end product of *ahem* biological synthesis. So likewise, Jordan is smart and clingy like all cute baby boy when he just popped out. Anyway, coming back to the subject, while I was watching the baby, I have this odd feeling of deja vu. It struck me that all the routine of rocking, graveyard shifts, the perculiar sounds made by the infant every 15 to 20 mins that stir you out of bed to check just so he/she is all right. You can debate all you want that it's just normal 'noise', but when the kid's yours, you will wake up anyway. HELP! This is a premonition of what's to come in a few months time, when I will be second time dad. Another colleague remarked that he knows someone who is having number eight - two doctors -well if they can afford it. But aren't doctors on call? How do they cope? They probably sling the baby while they do their rounds or operate - aka Grey Anatomy. Check back in 3 months time to see whether I'm still sane.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

RAISING TWO BOYS - SOS!

Just finish this book. On the premise that I have utter disdain for books teaching me how to be a parent , I must say Biddulph did a pretty good job. At least I am convinced that boys need good role model in other men. As the only child, I was pretty weird as a boy. I talked to myself and amused myself by playing the hat, the dog, the car and shoe in Monopoly all at once. My two male cousins, much older than me, kinda broke me out of my shell once my parents moved one floor down from their apartment. I remember so wanting to be whatever they were - dressed like them, listened to the same music, read the same books, talked the same talk. Lucky they were good role models, and think I turn out better than without them in the picture at all. They are still role models to me. Now how to find that someone for my boys. I know I have to play a part, but my father tried to make time with me (at least I know he tries), but I'm still not that close to him (although in many ways, I am still like him). This is partly due to the fact that both my parents worked and I was like a nomad moving from house to house when I was a kid. Work is work, but I try hard to spend as much time with the boy as possible. Leaving him overnight with the nanny is out of the question for us. Still, to be safe, we decide to move to a place where good role models (male ones) are in abundance. Well, I hope we raise our boys well. Posted by Picasa

WHAT'S IN A NAME?


Bao-what? That's the question we have pondered over dinner, in the car, on the bed, watching TV over the last few months. What's in a name? A parent's hope for the child, their aspiration, their wish of what their child should be (or should not be) are all embedded in this identity that will follow the child for life. It doesn't help that our family follows a tight list of middle character to be used for sons closely, and we are left with only one character to play with out of three (minus surname too). And it so happen that my sons' middle is not so glam- 'Bao' (to protect).. it makes choosing the character that follows all the more challenging. Wife wants something manly and connotes success and vigour. I just want my child to be happy and have a good character. Well we can go with "Bao-bao" (baby), "Bao-bei" (my precious), but he will probably be a joke in school. Likewise, calling him "Bao-xi" (sure die), "Bao-le" (full), "Bao-tong" (sure to get stab), "Bao-jia" (sure to get eaten/ cheated ... and durian sellers slogan) is not very helpful either. Others like "Bao-yu", "Bao-ling" sounds girly. We had difficulties naming our first born "Bao-en" (en means grateful) which sounds not too bad, and now the second one - another boy - will have very limited choice. We have shortlisted "Bao-kai" (which connotes happiness/ victory - depending which character we use) but the shortcoming will be him being teased as "spend money" or "broke" in Hokkien. Others will be "Bao-xuan" (tall, with character and poise), "Bao-jing" (quell uprising - aka Guo Jing in Condor Heroes ha ha), "Bao-xun" (fragrance). I'm stuck. Think we will go to the fortune-teller to pick the most auspicious one. After that, we will debate over his English name. Any suggestions?

Monday, September 04, 2006

GROWING UP

The little one is growing up really fast, he's now edgy, want to do many things at one time, babbling non-stop, and wants to stand up once his little hands can find something to support. Curiousity directs his every movement, and he seems particularly interested in the most dangerous items in the house which includes metal knobs, wires, electric fan churning at full speed, etc. He watches the dog walk past with a cheeky grin, but Momo watches over him and adoringly licks his feet when she trot past. Once she licks his face, and he belch... probably over Momo's bad breath, that was really cute. But one thing I cannot stand is his "separation anxiety" - he wails whenever he enters a room full of stangers. He can't stand stares, and seems to prefer the female species over males. It's difficult bringing him to a party or gathering. Damn weird.